Currently selling Rusty Warren memorabilia - boxes start at $25. Email us for more details.
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“What’s up now?
God knows it’s not my knockers!”

I’ve gone from sit-down at the piano to stand-up to sit-down. I talk to women’s groups about the changes in our sex lives over the last 40 years. (How can that be? I’m only 47!) Occasional cruise shows take me to Mexico and Alaska.

Now I’m onstage in cyberspace, reconnecting with old fans who were scolded, “Don’t touch that record, it’s Mommy and Daddy’s!”

I play bridge on Saturday nights and travel the globe. And I never shovel snow. Why? Because I live in Hawaii. I’m having a good life because I always keep a smile in my voice and my knockers up … well, hoisted!

From Rusty to Blue

My real name is Na#&@ G*!#8man. Oops… a major typo, I’ll fix it later. But the rascals, er, children, next door called me Rusty on account of my hair. “Warren” came from an avenue in Milton, Mass, where I grew up and up and up.

I studied voice and piano from the tenderized age of 6. Back in 19#@ the New England Conservatory of Music gave me a B.A. — Bawdy Arts degree. Summer vacations found me playing the piano at clubs and hotels. I could talk about a blue streak. Well, it didn’t start out blue. I was too young to drink, but honey, I could sing and play and joke and flirt. A nightclub act began to hatch in my fertile (some would say “filthy”) mind.

From Conservatory to Controversy

Years later the Pomp Room in Phoenix scheduled me for a standard run. It lasted 8 months because of the 108,112 curtain calls. From gigs at piano bars and nightclubs came my first comedy album, “Songs for Sinners.” Since there were lots of sinners to sing to, I was in business. My shows gave preachers lots of material for Sunday sermons. Mother of the Sexual Revolution, yesssss!

Ideas for my “Knockers Up!” album came from ad libs at a club in Ft. Liquordale, Florida. When I put Knockers on the map, Mother was apoplectic, which means “popular at bridge games.” For years she’d tell anyone who would listen, “I know what she’s saying, but where in God’s name did she learn it all?” Mom was a great gal. She lived till 95 and loved taking her bows at all my Las Vegas appearances.

Career Highlights

  • I performed under Arthur Fiedler. That is, I performed under the direction of Arthur Fiedler at Tanglewood in a 21-piano tribute to Chopin.
  • My peers nominated me three times for Las Vegas Comedienne of the Year, and I won once.
  • I was nominated for Best-Selling Comedy Recording Artist by N.A.R.M., which is like marmalade with prestige.
  • Of my eleven comedy albums, seven went gold. And that was back when raunchy and radio didn’t mix. Today, they could make lullabies from my lyrics.
  • The hit “Knockers Up!” gave birth to a devoted cult of over a million Knockers Up Club fans. They’re my only offspring. Turned out I wasn’t a breeder, and my boobs didn’t grow ’til I hit menopause. So, there’s hope for all you Nanny-No-Knockers out there!
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